There's Been Some Ups and Downs... But Things are GOOOOOOD!!!

Wow, has it really been over a year since that last post?  Time flies alarmingly quickly.

There's been too much going on over the last year to fill you in on all of it, suffice to say I'm still submissive and obedient. 

I had a major lapse this year, lasting several months.  During this time I told my Princess that I would prefer the relationship to be more normal, balanced and equal.  This just did not work, at all.  I really don't know what I was thinking, why I felt that way, or what I hoped to achieve.  It ended up with my Princess being quite upset and feeling unloved and unappreciated.  The whole relationship became quite unhappy with neither of us getting much out of it.

Eventually, and quite recently, we sat down and my Princess basically told me she needs to be "adored" and preferred things how they were.

So although it was quite an unpleasant experience to go through, I think something positive has come out of it - that I now know that, not only does my Princess find my submission and obedience acceptable (i.e not weird or creepy) , but that she actually needs me to behave this way, and in fact the marriage simply cannot function on any other footing.

So, from a starting point a couple of years back when we were both equal in the relationship and I harboured secret thoughts of submission but worried that Princess would find these fantasies unacceptable, we now find ourselves in a situation where, even when I try to rebel and escape from submission, I am literally forced back into it in order to avoid the marriage falling apart completely!

This is really quite a major thing for me, because one of the reasons I went off the whole FLR thing was that I suspected I was topping from the bottom; that is, coercing my wife into letting me be submissive against her natural instincts or desires, which isn't really what you want as a sub is it?  It's not what I wanted anyway - I wanted to feel that I was being properly dominated and ruled over by a strong and confident woman who simply wouldn't have it any other way.  Voila!  That's what I've got!

So we are now only a couple of weeks into this new and mutually agreeable level of FLR but it already feels less phoney and less like role-play.  When I massaged her feet last night whilst she watched TV, it felt completely natural.  When I knelt behind her this morning and moisturised her legs and kissed her gorgeous ass whilst she brushed her teeth, I didn't feel like I was pushing any kind of limits of normal acceptable behaviour; I felt like I was adoring her, just like she wants, just like she asked.  Just like she demands!

It feels good to be back.  More to follow...