There's Been Some Ups and Downs... But Things are GOOOOOOD!!!

Wow, has it really been over a year since that last post?  Time flies alarmingly quickly.

There's been too much going on over the last year to fill you in on all of it, suffice to say I'm still submissive and obedient. 

I had a major lapse this year, lasting several months.  During this time I told my Princess that I would prefer the relationship to be more normal, balanced and equal.  This just did not work, at all.  I really don't know what I was thinking, why I felt that way, or what I hoped to achieve.  It ended up with my Princess being quite upset and feeling unloved and unappreciated.  The whole relationship became quite unhappy with neither of us getting much out of it.

Eventually, and quite recently, we sat down and my Princess basically told me she needs to be "adored" and preferred things how they were.

So although it was quite an unpleasant experience to go through, I think something positive has come out of it - that I now know that, not only does my Princess find my submission and obedience acceptable (i.e not weird or creepy) , but that she actually needs me to behave this way, and in fact the marriage simply cannot function on any other footing.

So, from a starting point a couple of years back when we were both equal in the relationship and I harboured secret thoughts of submission but worried that Princess would find these fantasies unacceptable, we now find ourselves in a situation where, even when I try to rebel and escape from submission, I am literally forced back into it in order to avoid the marriage falling apart completely!

This is really quite a major thing for me, because one of the reasons I went off the whole FLR thing was that I suspected I was topping from the bottom; that is, coercing my wife into letting me be submissive against her natural instincts or desires, which isn't really what you want as a sub is it?  It's not what I wanted anyway - I wanted to feel that I was being properly dominated and ruled over by a strong and confident woman who simply wouldn't have it any other way.  Voila!  That's what I've got!

So we are now only a couple of weeks into this new and mutually agreeable level of FLR but it already feels less phoney and less like role-play.  When I massaged her feet last night whilst she watched TV, it felt completely natural.  When I knelt behind her this morning and moisturised her legs and kissed her gorgeous ass whilst she brushed her teeth, I didn't feel like I was pushing any kind of limits of normal acceptable behaviour; I felt like I was adoring her, just like she wants, just like she asked.  Just like she demands!

It feels good to be back.  More to follow...

The Most One-Sided Sex Ever.

Last night I made my Princess horny by kissing and stroking her for a very long time whilst she lay in bed relaxing.  After giving her an orgasm with my mouth I could tell that she craved the feeling of penetration.

Luckily I have already bought her a replacement for my cock so she was able to have the feeling of being stretched and filled.  I worked hard at it for about an hour, carefully stimulating her g-spot and fingering her gorgeous ass whilst she fingered her clit.  She had one of the biggest orgasms I have ever seen with prolonged, shuddering convulsions, her back arching in ecstasy.  After the orgasm I left the dildo inside her and kissed her thighs and stomach.  I then started again, repeating the process.  Her second orgasm seemed even more amazing that the first and her gasps and yelps told me that this was probably the best orgasm of her life.  It was an almost indescribably arousing experience, being so intimate with someone so achingly beautiful during such intense moments, and I nearly came several times myself.

When I was sure her arousal had diminished, I carefully withdrew the dildo, sucked it and my fingers clean and then washed it and my hands in the bathroom.  Back in bed, I spooned her, telling her, as usual, how beautiful she is and how much I love her.  I kissed her neck and shoulders until she dozed off and then slid down the bed to hug her hips, kissing the small of her back until I fell asleep too.

At no point did my cock receive the slightest attention or consideration.  She is amazing.

I am thinking of buying a hollow penis extender so that, for my Princess, it feels like normal sex, but it is very unlikely that I will achieve orgasm...

Showing Off my Princess on a Nudist Beach

Princess Emma and I are due to go to Italy for a week soon, and apparently there is a nudist beach not far from where we are staying.  Emma really wants to go there... so we will be going there!

I am loving the idea of her showing off her incredible body, perfect skin and shaven pussy.  I expect to be spending a lot of time applying sun cream, fetching drinks, maybe kissing her feet.  I expect her to be spending a lot of time reading, ignoring me and checking out the naked men.

I actually had a (quite far-fetched) dream about it last night...

A hot, lazy day at the beach, the waves crashing in the distance.  Emma was laying on her front, reading, as I was rubbing sun cream into the backs of her legs, her ass and her back.  Two Italian guys came over and just sat next to us.  They were good looking, well built and tanned.  They were also pretty well endowed.  At first, Emma shyly grabbed a towel to cover herself as she sat up, but after a few minutes, as she turned to put her book down, she let the towel drop onto her lap.  Conversation flowed pretty well; they were genuinely charming and funny and Emma clearly liked them.  There was definite, instant chemistry between them, with some very intense looks and way too much eye contact to be mistaken for anything but flirting.  What I found quite telling was that she grabbed the towel from her lap and rubbed her already dry hair with it before putting the towel down on the sand next to her instead of back on her lap.  Her whole body was now exposed.  She then lay back on her elbows so as to allow a good view of her perfect, neat, shaven pussy to the guys, who were both sat around her feet.

"Who don't you go and wait in the hotel, love?"  she said, without even looking at me.  I was quite taken aback at the lack of any pretence.  Not even any subtlety like "Maybe you could go for a swim".  Just a blatant order couched in the form of a question.

"Ok Princess.  I love you" I said, bending into a grovelling position to kiss her hand.  As I stood up to walk off, the two guys repositioned themselves, one either side of her.  Then I walked off along the otherwise deserted beach.

I allowed myself only one glance backwards and saw my Princess kissing one guy as the other one fingered her and kissed her breast.  I wondered how many tourists they get to do this with, or whether they normally just walk along the beach perving and Emma was the one and only tourist they simply couldn't resist.  Either way I felt proud of my Princess, her beauty, her confidence, her easy control over me.  I love her so much and I love to see her aroused and excited like this.  I bet she'll suck them both off too.  She hasn't sucked my cock in years...

Back at the hotel I tidied up the mess we'd made from our hasty unpacking.  I made sure the place was spotless and all of Emma's clothes were perfectly folded or hung.  I didn't know whether she would want a bath or a shower when she returned, so I ran a bath just in case, to give her the option.

When I eventually heard a knock at the door, I could see through the spy hole that Emma was alone.  I got down on my knees as I opened the door, and kissed her sandy feet as soon as she stepped in.  "Thank you" I said, although it wasn't clear whether I was thanking her for allowing me to kiss her feet, for returning home, for sending me away as she played with the Italian guys, or what.

She went into the bedroom and slumped onto the bed.

"I need to think about what just happened" she said.  This sounded ominous.  Serious.

"Ok Princess. Are you ok?" I asked, kneeling next to the bed and stroking her hair.

"Oh yes.  I'm definitely ok.  Better than that.  I am very, very happy.  That was a lovely day.  What I meant was, I need to think about what just happened."  I only twigged what she meant as she started to finger herself as she said think.  She wanted to re-live the experience, and closed her eyes as she began to work on herself.

"Please.  Can I help?"  I asked, a bit too pleadingly.

"I suppose so" she sighed, moving her hand aside.

I knelt on the bed and went to work, lovingly kissing her pussy, licking and loving it and her, drifting off into a world of servile bliss.  She tasted different to normal and I think I knew why.  As I gazed occasionally up at her gorgeous face, ecstatic, framed from this angle between her reddened breasts, I wondered whether this fresh new humiliation featured in her current thoughts.  Getting me to clean her after her infidelity; was that a new turn-on for her?

After she came twice she rolled over and I adoringly kissed her ass as she dozed off.  My hard on refused to subside and sleep was impossible...

For the rest of the holiday I would faithfully follow my Princess around, kiss her adoringly, rub sun cream in frequently, run around getting her drinks, buying her little presents in the tourist shops, pamper her wherever possible, massage her and give her countless orgasms as she remembered her fun on the beach...

Mocking my Arousal During Pampering

Last night, whilst giving my Princess her massage, she dozed off again. I love it when this happens as it is a sure sign that I am doing a good job and helping her recover from the stresses of the day.

As usual, when this happens I continue to massage her beautifully toned and tanned back, but with lighter and lighter strokes until eventually I silently pull the covers over her and get in to bed to spoon and kiss her back until I fall into a blissful sleep too, despite the aching thumbs and throbbing wrists and cock. Last night
though, as soon as I stood up, she awoke. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the huge bulge in my pants, and the wet patch where my cock had been dribbling due to an hour's worth of constant arousal. She just laughed in a rather mocking way. ''Oh dear.  A bit of pre-cum there.'' she sniggered before rolling over and dozing off again.

 I love my Princess so much.

Giving Princess Orgasms - A Favour... To Me!

After massaging Princess to sleep last night, I awoke extra early this morning to make sure she had breakfast and lunch prepared before her alarm went off.  I was hoping that this would give her a few free minutes during which she would allow me to give her an orgasm before her shower.

I knelt next to her side of the bed for a minute until her alarm went off, silenced it and kissed her gently awake before presenting her with her morning cup of tea.

I then got back into bed, told her that her food had been seen to and asked her if I could give her an orgasm.  She still didn't have time though; she had to be in work extra early and was stressing out about the busy day ahead.

The interesting this is though, she actually apologised to me that she didn't have time for an orgasm.  "Sorry, I've got to go!"  My first reaction was to tell her that she needn't apologise - I hate it when she apologises or thanks me for anything as it doesn't fit in with her taking me for granted.

But since she has left for work, and having thought about it a bit, I think it's actually pretty good that she felt the need to apologise in this way.  In a normal relationship, a woman might apologise to her partner that she didn't have time to suck him off before work despite his protestations.  In our relationship though, she actually apologises that she hasn't got the time to grant me the privilege of touching her.  It is, I think, a tacit acknowledgement that any physical contact with her is basically an amazing experience for me, regardless of how enjoyable it also happens to be for her.

A strange one.  Maybe I would be happier if she was more manipulative about it and said I could give her an orgasm tonight if I do enough chores or something.  Maybe her reaction was the best possible.

In any case, after my offer was rejected I continued to serve her this morning, running and fetching her hairbrush from where I left it after brushing her hair yesterday morning, and adjusting her bra so that it fits properly.  She is even trying out the gel bra inserts today that make her boobs look absolutely irresistible.  In work!

Looking forward to a morning of ironing her clothes and folding her underwear just how she likes it...

A Motivated, Teased Submissive at Work

Yesterday was really good.  After being allowed to give my Princess a pre-work orgasm I asked if I could pamper her after work and she hinted that maybe I could.  It seems like I haven't been serving my Princess well enough lately so I saw this as an opportunity to put things well and truly back on track.  I have never worked so hard in my life.  I was painting and decorating from 8am until 5pm with only about 30 mins break for a quick sandwich.  I worked as hard and as fast as I could, all day.  I wanted her to be amazed about how much I can achieve when in a state of constant, teased arousal.

The whole time I was thinking about how great it was to give my Princess an orgasm, how lucky I am to be allowed to lay my hands all over such a beautiful woman, and how much I was looking forward to pampering her in the evening.  Her comment "if we can carry on like this it might just work" kept running around my head.  She really understands!

Kind of how it looked this morning.

Kind of how I would like it to look in the morning.

These thoughts gave me such motivation that I was like a man on a mission and I got an incredible amount of work done.  It was like a demonstration of time and motion efficiency, with the dishwasher and washing machine on simultaneously, one load of washing drying, four walls painted, shelves up on the first wall before the last wall was even dry, shopping done, bathroom cleaned, kitchen mopped and tidied, Princess' work clothes immaculately ironed and hung up, her underwear perfectly folded, more washing hung out, dishes put away...

Emma seemed suitably impressed when she arrived home.  I always make sure that I have a cup of tea ready for her as soon as she walks in and she sipped it as she wandered around inspecting my work.  There was no real acknowledgement of, or thanks for my efforts, but that would have only spoiled the dynamic.  I kissed her and asked if I could bathe her later.  "If we've got time" she said.

We did have time.  I ran her a bath with plenty of Radox and let her soak for a while as I tidied away the dishes from dinner.  It was hard not to rush, knowing there was a gorgeous naked woman upstairs waiting for me to wash and shave her.  When I finally knelt down next to the bath and started washing her hair, her back, waist and hips looked so beautiful I felt like I could come just by pressing myself against the side of the bath.  I managed to pull myself together enough to have a normal conversation about her day in work as I washed and conditioned her lustrous locks.  Next I gave her back a good scrub and she lay back, one arm over her head, waiting for me to shave her armpit, then the other.

Before shaving her legs I gave them a good exfoliating scrub with a body puff, then a rinse before applying shaving foam.  I took great care last night to shave them perfectly, leaving not a single hair, all the while marvelling at her lovely perfect brown skin and feminine curves.  Her calves have just enough muscle to be firm and shapely without losing any femininity, and her thighs are strong and perfectly proportioned.  After shaving her legs I carefully stroked them to check for any missed hairs.

She asked me if I wanted to get in after her and of course I did.  I would bathe in my Princess' dirty water every day if I had the chance.  Last night though was extra-special.  My Princess decided to shave her pussy whilst standing over me in the bath.  I held her calves and kissed her thighs as she did it, the and of my hard-on bobbing up through the water's surface.  Then she was off, drying herself as I washed in her dead skin and hair.

I bathed as quickly as possible as I wanted to be able to moisturise her before she got into bed.  I pulled the plug and dried myself within two minutes of getting in and then I was kneeling next to the bed, rubbing bronzing moisturiser into her warm, clean, smooth legs.  She was sat on the edge of the bed looking down on me as I did this.  The wardrobe mirror afforded her a perfect view of the whole tableau; me, supplicant and her, regal and relaxed.

Finally we got into bed and I spooned her, kissing her next adoringly.  Amazingly, she decided she wanted an orgasm.  I gave her one with my fingers and then she decided she wanted sex.  We did it with her on top as she played with herself until she came, and then she wanted it from behind, and came again twice.  Then she indicated that she wanted me to come too.  I was totally unable to object or resist and had one of the most explosive orgasms of my life, looking down upon the woman that I worship, her ass in front of me, my hands on her small waist, my cock, deep inside her.  Then I collapsed on her, head buried in her her hair, still damp from the bath.

That was last night.  This morning I am drained.  How long will it take to recharge my batteries?  I don't know.  I think Emma has had between eight and ten orgasms to my one, and yet I still feel that I have been allowed too much.  I don't think there will be much housework done today...

A Replacement for my Cock

My Princess has told me that I will only be permitted 1 orgasm for every 10 of hers.

She loves the satisfying feeling of being penetrated by a hard cock, though, so she has told me to get her a good vibrator.  I will be allowed to use it on her after giving her orgasms orally, if she so wishes.

Now, I have (unfortunately for a submissive) got a fairly large penis, and I wanted to get her something that would out-do me, and satisfy her even more that I can.

So I have just purchased this bad boy. 

• Length: 9 inches
• Insertable: 8 inches
• Circumference: 6.25 inches
• Diameter: 2.0 inches

I can't wait for it to arrive!

Abandonment and Renewal

We've been away for a few weeks, during which time my Princess said she had decided that she wanted us to resume "vanilla" sexual relations, with me having as many orgasms as I like and with a more equitable balance of power.  I was quite disappointed, but agreed.

After a week of normal sex, with me orgasming, I quickly got used to "normal" life.  I became more interested in my own well being and less attentive.  Subsequently, she soon realised that she actually preferred being worshipped.  I came home from work one day and she told me that she wanted a new dildo, bigger than my dick.  It was to be used when she needed to be "filled"after I have given her oral sex.  She said she thought I would be better behaved if we used this system rather than letting me come inside her.

Naturally I agreed and I am now browsing the net for a suitable item.

We have now agreed that I will be allowed one orgasm for every ten that she has.

This feels pretty good - an open acknowledgement that we both prefer it this way, even though it's not the societal norm.

It feels like I've moved out of the "stealth" phase into something a lot more permanent and sustainable.